On Sundays
by Dashed
Summary: They set aside one day a week to confess their sins. That left six more to commit them. Contains Yuri. ShizNat HarukaYukino Naoand you wouldn't believe me.
1. Nao

Disclaimer: I dont own Mia HiME and I think my Nao is a little darker than the one shown in the anime.

WARNING: Yuri is discussed which some may not like. Also I drew on the catholic faith to describe the confessional disregarding the fact that (I'm pretty sure) its only priest that are allowed to hear and forgive sins. My world is a little more foreword thinking.

A/N: Just cleaned this up a bit before adding ch2 makes a bit more sense now I feel. I also lowered the rating because I don't feel this is really M but tell me if you think otherwise.

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On Sundays 

She sat aside one day a week to confesses her sins. That left six more to commit them.

Nao

She waited patiently for the Sister to finish her prayers. The way she had her hands clasped

together tight enough to whiten the knuckles and how she had long ago ceased her pathetic mumblings of love and repentance. Nao knew she was trying to post pone the inevitable.

"Are you ready, Sister?" she rose from her seat.

The Sister rose unsteadily from her kneeling position but hesitated as Nao started towards the confessional. She half turned back to the nun who was already blushing in anticipation- shamefully so.

"Shall we Sister?" she closed the sinners door with a resounding click.

Every time she was in the box there was always the seconds of doubt. Not some stupid Christian repentance doubt, but the doubt of whether Sister would come back into the confessional. Whether or not she had at last the strength to stop herself from sinning in such a holy place. As always the doubts seemed unfounded as the Sister entered with a blush shamefully bright and at a pace that was shamelessly quick.

"Bless me Sister for I have sinned," there might have been a hint of humour in her voice "it has been one week since my last confession."

"What are your sins, child?" her voice was choked.

"Hhhmmm," she lent her face against the hard wood of the confessional her hand trailing over the grate that kept sinner and saint separate "of the seven deadly ones? Lust" there was a hitch in breath from the other side.

"I couldn't help myself Sister, she was so beautiful..." she told the older woman many sins in this box about men, about women, some were true and some were not. But the blushes, the gasps and sighs from the other side were always real. She had once wanted the Sister for being so innocent, wanted to rip her trusting eyes out and rake her nails across her god loving face. When she found out in one of her more heated confessions that the Sister was as deviant as herself her want had transformed into an all consuming need.

The need to destroy. To corrupt what pretended to be un-corruptible.

why should the Sister be viewed in such a heavenly light when she herself was viewed with such distaste? They were both guilty afterall.

She wanted to rip the facade of goodness and respectability from the woman and leave her just as tainted and wanting as her. Make her human like the rest of the sinners she counselled, reveal her as the hypocrite she is.

Reveal that she was not above them, above her.

Each sin she confessed each 'immoral act' she retold the Sister, who was on the other side of the box habit hitched up to her knees naked legs spread revealingly afraid to make to much noise encase she missed a word Nao moan, was tearing her apart, making her more human. Making her a sinner.

They all struggled with unwanted desire. How dare she preach to them when she was no better!

"Her legs were spread so wantonly, Sister" this tale happened to be true, Shizuru had begged for her like the bitch her girlfriend was. Natsuki to insecure to take care of her girlfriends needs and Shizuru seeming so understanding and satisfied with the scarps of affection the ice princesses deemed her worthy of, "she was glistening, weeping for release, her breasts with pink tips were arching towards me Sister...I couldn't control myself" A perfect couple. Only Shizuru wasn't satisfied of course, it was all that unfulfilled desire that drove her to Nao's door in the middle of the night.

The same desire that drove the Sister into the confessional week after week.

"I had to kiss her, Sister, had to touch her, she was in so much pain without it," Shizuru's face took on an unhealthy hue when she aroused. The student council president losses all her power over you when she wraps her legs around your head tight enough to muffle all sound "and then..."

The furious hand movements she could see through the grate speed up their frantic pace as the Sister moaned "and then...?"

"I sucked her, my tongue licked every inch of her and she screamed to the heavens..." the Sister froze then jerked forwards again and again "...do you think she to was confessing? she did call out to god" and a final time before the saint slumped forward in her booth.

Nao exited the confessional her face flushed and hand gripping the door handle tight. The Sister always came out after her, she had to take the time to fix her dress and wipe away her shameful tears. One day Nao would rip the door open and take the nun as she was trying to erase her sin. She would make her moan and call to a god that she had wronged. She would take the Sister that haunted her dreams with teasing kisses and in defiling her she would make her a woman.

Even Eve was cast eventually from the garden.

One day soon, but not today. She walked toward the front doors but stopped as she heard the Sister exit. She stood below a cross, she knew enough about her supposed 'faith' to tell the difference between a cross and a crucifix. A cross hung empty while on a crucifix the figure of Jesus was nailed, bleeding for the world.

She often likened herself to the Christ.

But while the Christ was impaled by nails, his blood oozing to save the world from sin. She was nailed by unfulfilled desire, arousal oozing down her thighs to deliver the Sister from her phoney shameless pedestal.

Blasphemy.

Another sin to confess.

"Twelve Hail Marry's and one Our Father, right Sister?" the Sister looked away in shame. But as disgusted by her acts as she was Nao new it would be the same time next week.

"Go in peace and serve the lord" she went back to praying to a god that now viewed her as the sinner she truly was and as the entire school will soon.

And so Judas did to Christ...she kissed the Sisters cheek in a parody of thanks before leaving.

There where still six more days left

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A/N the Nao/Shizuru thing threw me and I wrote this! Though it does make a twisted sort of sense I think. 


	2. Haruka

They set aside one day to confess their sins. That left six more to commit them.

Haruka.

She stood awkwardly behind the Sister waiting patiently to be noticed. Though if the nun took much longer she was in danger of running because it was hard enough to drag herself here in the first place, this waiting was just cruel but she couldn't bring herself to interrupt the clergy woman's prayers.

"Yes Suzushiro-san? Do you have a student in need of guidance?" the sister finally noticed the disciplinarian of the school.

Her right arm was across her chest clutching at her left arm in a not quite hug "No...I'm here for myself." It was a lot harder than she would like to admit to say that.

"I see," though by the woman's wide eyes and surprised manner she didn't see.

They crossed over to the confessional box. She wasn't very familiar with this place having never before felt the need to be here. She had no reason to until now.

"Bless me Sister, I think I've sinned" her voice was full of anguish.

How could she Suzushiro Haraka come to this?

"You think you've sinned Suzushiro-san?" the Sister was very surprised at this revelation.

Also a little sceptical. After all Suzushiro Haraka had a moral compass that recent event had shown was much stronger than her own. She should be the one confessing her sins to this pure girl.

"Hai. Its still a sin if you think about it, isn't it Sister?" her voice was feverish as she spoke, words tumbling out in the safety of the box that she never dared admit to in the light of day "its still a sin if you want it more than anything you've ever wanted in your life, right? Its still a sin if you think about it more than your duty to the school, isn't it Sister?" her fingers clutched at the cross shaped hole in the grate separating them, they seemed to burn her hands.

Rejecting her like the infidel she was.

"Your going to have to be more specific, Suzushiro-san" only this girl would confess to _thinking _about sinning.

Her frantic thoughts slowed unwilling to voice the disgusting word that had haunted her dreams. Lesbian. She couldn't be one of those, those...creatures. It was unnatural and disgusting. So why did she think about Yukino in that way? Why did she want to kiss her...hold her...

...love her.

The unnatural wanting she could excuse. Well not excuse, as it was still wrong, but she could understand it. Every teenager had sinful thoughts and while so far she had been exempt, it was only natural for immorality to try and corrupt her.

She had trained and prepared for all the hormonal sins that might have tried to tempt her.

But in the face of Yukino's soft smile and gentle touches she had nothing to protect herself with. All her armour disappeared under the disgraceful urge to hold and protect Yukino her most precious thing.

"Its still a sin even if your only thinking about..." her voice for the first time in her life faltered and became weak "...girls."

She was just as disgusting as that Bubuzuke woman.

So far it had only been thinking. She knew how easily it could turn into action, after all was Suzushiro Haraka not a woman of action? She could see how easy it would be to kiss her innocent friend, how easily it would be to hold her and touch her willing or not because she was much stronger than her gentle friend. It wouldn't even take force, not really, Yukino trusted her unconditionally and would never dare object if it was Haruka-chan that was asking her. It would be so easy-

No! She would not sully the other girl! Yukino was to good to be dragged down with her and her perversion!

"Its not a sin if you don't act on it!" the Sisters voice was harsh piercing through the grate and Haruka's thoughts like an angry deity "we can't help our thoughts but if we stop our actions its not a sin because you haven't committed it" she was screaming more at herself than the girl, she had to believe what she was doing with Nao wasn't sinning.

It would break her if it was. She couldn't be a deviant.

"But-" she was ready to argue, call herself a sinner and beg for forgiveness. At least if she was a sinner she could somehow work to redeem herself. She didn't think she could live this half sin life. She had always looked at the world as black and white, good or bad, holy or sinful. She couldn't live in the in-between. She didn't want to be gray.

"No buts!" the Sister cut her off "the bible says that only homosexual _acts _are wrong!" her voice choked on the word homosexual but she choked it out anyway "Acts! Only acts!" she needed to believe this.

"But-but I don't know what to do...?" her voice was lost and confused, she wasn't used to being directionless. She had always had a purpose, a mission, but how could she council others against their deviancies when she couldn't over come her own?

"You must stop," her voice was calmer now at the sound of the girls voice. She was the sheep that was lost and it was her duty as shepherd to guide her back to the flock "the girl that causes these thoughts, you must not go near her, cut of all ties" be stronger than she was.

Dear lord she was a hypocrite, telling this girl to do something that she herself could not do.

Cut of all ties with Yukino? She couldn't. She didn't want to. It would hurt her so much...but so would burning in hell. She knew if she stayed around the other girl she would only drag her down with her.

Yukino was to good, to wonderful for that.

It was her duty. It would be wrong to do anything else. Her abandonment of her friend would save her in the end.

It's going to hurt so much.

She pushed that thought away savagely. What was a little hurt in saving Yukino from her? She would never forgive herself if she didn't. Her face was resolved and she was more calmer now than when she had first entered the box.

"You're right sister," she made to leave the box but before she did she turned and her voice honestly heartfelt declared "thank you!"

Yukariko excited the box watching as the once troubled girl marched through the church her face set in a grim line her stride filled with purpose. She looked like an avenging angel out to crush sin.

Hopefully she would be more successful than she herself was.


	3. Shizuru

They set aside one day to confess their sins. That left six more to commit them.

Shizuru

She honestly didn't know why she was here. She knew the response she would get. She would be told she was a sinner and her love for Natsuki evil. Still, she was here waiting patiently staring at a cross while Sister Yukariko said prayers to a God that she wasn't even sure she was allowed to talk to. The guilt was too much for her crushing and dragging her down to the point were even her tea tasted like betrayal.

She wasn't even a Christian.

"Fujino-sama," the Sister turned to greet her and did she see a blush on those pale cheeks?

"Sister Yukariko, may I have a moment of your time?" she spoke softly noting how the woman seemed less than please at the idea, either she was growing tired of her vocation or she didn't want to talk to her.

"Of course, Fujino-sama" none made a move towards the confessional.

"Forgive me if I am wrong, but don't Christians have a formal routine for confession and counselling?" she wasn't wrong but politeness dictated she phrase her question in such a way as not to seem rude.

"Of course!" Sister Yukariko startled and gestured towards a cupboard with to wooden doors at either end. She set of towards the structure her movements as sure and graceful as always. She pushed open the door closest to the alter and bathed in sunlight but halted at the sound of the other woman's voice.

"Ah Fujino-sama, that's my door" her voice was hesitant.

"Forgive my ignorance, Sister Yukariko" she made a small bow of apology before going toward the other door.

She knelt as she assumed she was supposed to as the grate was almost waist high. How could anyone be comfortable in this cramped little box? She did not want to judge another's religious practices but this room was giving her a form of claustrophobia.

Maybe that was why the weight of her sins seemed to settle heavy on her right now.

Sister Yukariko took up her position at the other side of the box. She could barely see the woman's face as it was obscured by the grate, which was difficult for her as she was so used to reading people like books. She felt slightly naked now that her strongest weapon had been taken from her.

Did she really want to do this?

"Is there an etiquette I should follow?" the visit was spontaneous so she didn't have time to learn about this cleansing ritual. She had always taken comfort in rituals and ceremonies.

"How about you tell me what brought you to His house?" the woman seemed to have regained some confidence now she was in her box.

What had drove her here this Sunday, when she was supposed to be meeting her beloved Natsuki in the park? Was it she couldn't face that wonderful girl after what she had done with Nao? She wanted to say yes, that was the reason for her guilt but there was something even more selfish at work than her indiscretion, which she did feel guilty about of course, but not as much as this...

...This resentment.

She loved Natsuki more than life, more than her sanity even but she couldn't stop herself from resenting the younger girl. Every time she got close to her without warning she would flinch away and recoil. She still had not forgive her actions during the Hime festival apparently. It wasn't even all her fault.

Yes it was her desires, but that damn Obsidian Lord had manipulated her!

She smoothed her face from its frown. She didn't appreciate being manipulated which was ironic given the fact that she did that to those around her daily. Her pride and libido were both injured because of that festival.

She would have been fine if Natsuki had said she wanted to take things slow or even if she admitted to what she was doing but she avoiding her gaze when she asked and denied anything strange happened when she pointed it out. The absolute worst thing was that her girlfriend the girl that she had pined after for years treated her like her _best friend_!

Natsuki shared her secrets and dreams, listened to the gossip she supplied eagerly while blushingly declaring she had no use for it. She had never incited any touches or kisses and when she did received them, which was not always, she did so like a lifeless doll. She tolerated them. Can you imagine what it was like to finally win the girl of your dreams only to find out you didn't win her at all? She boiled with suppressed anger and despair. She didn't want to voice her feeling because she might loose what little she had with Natsuki.

She was screaming behind every smile and dying with every kiss.

That was why she was here this Sunday instead of with her beloved. She could take loving her whole heartedly only to be rejected. Her heart was taking a brief respite because despite being shredded by Natsuki's reaction towards her she still loved her enough she couldn't stay away.

Maybe that's what she required; Sanctuary.

Her head bowed under the weight of her thoughts. The resentment was making her want to do things, things that she wished she had the excuse of the Obsidian Lords influence to blame it on. She wanted to stop Natsuki from pulling away to hold her there, force her if necessary, into making a reaction.

It drove her to Nao who looked at her like she was a woman rather than a best friend. Who when she kissed her kissed back just as hungrily, who would push her down on the bed and stripped her of her own accord or push her way past her bra and feeling her breast moaned as if she had found the ultimate treasure. Who thrust against her _willingly _and _wanted _her touch and didn't flinch away like she was some terrible monster or worse, like she was undesired.

She did feel guilty about her affaire with a girl who was childlike in every thing but sex. There she was older than Natsuki, who still wouldn't let her kiss her with tongue. She was starting to think it was her, maybe she wasn't good enough which was what drove her to Nao to prove that while she may not look like a model she was still desirable.

"Fujino-sama...?" Sister Yukariko's voice prompted, startling her.

She had never been this honest with herself. She thought she would come here confess her evil feelings against her Natsuki and be healed. She ignored anything that reflected badly on Natsuki and took all the blame on herself but now she realised that while she had done wrong and was to blame, Natsuki wasn't the innocent party that she had built her as.

She would rather see herself as the devil instead of Natsuki, it seemed.

She stood up feeling much better than she had in a few weeks. Maybe this Christian box wasn't as pointless as she thought.

"I apologise for wasting your time, Sister" she would have bowed but the cramped space made that impossible. She excited the box emerging into the chapel that seemed brighter than any of the previous times she had been here. She stared at the cross again.

Thank you.

She made her way to the doors. She would tell Natsuki everything, about Nao and her feelings. They would talk and cry she would probably be injured in some small way but they would be better for it and she would finally have the girl of her dreams.

"Hello, Shizuru"

She looked up as Nao entered the chapel, silently noting the absences of the honorific "Nao-chan"

The pink haired girl looked startled at the use of '-chan' she doubted anyone had used it before. She bore the girl no ill will as it was she who strayed from her partner and Nao did make her feel good when she thought nothing of herself. She took the other girls hands in her own.

"I hope we can be friends"

"Oh, we're already pretty friendly" the younger girl leered.

She only smiled softly at her. She was finally calm and centred "I'm going to tell Natsuki everything," there was a genuine look of fear in the other girls eyes, she probably wouldn't be the only one to come away from the confession with an injury "you might want to hide for a while."

She left the stunned girl behind and walked out into the afternoon sun towards the park and Natsuki.

They had the rest of their lives to forgive each other.


	4. Yukino

On Sundays

Yukino

The heavy chapel door thudded behind her but she didn't bother to apologise as the room seemed to be empty. Thank goodness, she thought walking towards the front. She was just about to sit in the front row when Sister Yukariko entered carrying candles. It would have be hard to tell which one of them looked more surprised.

"Oh, hello Sister!" she winced as her voice sounded shriller than usual and her back tensed unconsciously at the other woman's intrusion.

"Ah Kikukawa-san, anything I can do for you?" the nun then proceeded to replace the burned out candles on the alter with the reserves in her arms.

"Oh no Sister, I needed a place no one really goes to-" she cut herself of as she realised how insulting her words could be interpreted as. Her eyes widened in alarm and just before she could splutter an excuse the Sister laughed, a happy tinkling sound that echoed due to the buildings acoustics.

"This is a good place to be alone, though we tend to see more visitors than you would think," she turned to the school girl and smiled "I can leave you alone if you like or, if you want, you could tell me what drove you here?"

She hadn't come here to talk, just to be alone, but now that the opportunity was so freely offered she found she couldn't turn it down. "Everything has been so crazy lately! First Nao disappears without a trace and Shizuru is walking around with a limp and black eye! Plus Natsuki's on the warpath," the week had been eventful to say the least "the least little thing sets her off." Natsuki was walking around like a bear with a sore tooth snapping at anyone who even looks at her funny, Shizuru trailing after her even more demurely than usual.

Was it just her own imagination or was Shizuru avoiding any eye contact with females that weren't Natsuki?

She could have dealt with that. Her school had its own unique brand of madness that she had come to expect after so many years but now she had to deal with it alone. Haruka wouldn't talk to her, wouldn't even look at her. She had only seen Haruka twice in the last week both times at Student Council meetings, which was quite a feat as they shared a room.

What had she done wrong?

Her knees buckled and she fell onto the seat, the nun wasted no time in sitting beside her "Haruka-chan won't talk to me. I've tried asking her if something was wrong after meetings but she races out the door and pretends she can't hear me when I call to her." She looked up into the sympathetic eyes of the nun, she willed herself not to cry "I-I love her and I don't know what I did wrong." Her voice was smaller and filled with more loneliness than she felt comfortable showing to anyone who was not Haruka.

Yukariko nodded her head in sympathy. She really did feel for the younger girl, it was after all her advice to Haruka which was now causing this hurt. Since Fujino-sans visit she regain her old calmness, there was just something about the older girls presence that had managed to ground her, and now that Nao had stopped coming to confession she was feeling much happier. She could give advice now without her own feelings clouding her judgment. She was glad Kikukawa-san had come to her because the advice she had give Suzushiro-san had weighed heavy on her the past few days. She was now ready to preach Gods love to everybody, even the deviant sitting before her.

"The love you have for Suzushiro-san is wrong..."

Yukino drew back startled at the gentle reprimand. Her eyes narrowed and a feeling most often associated with Haruka overwhelmed her; Righteous anger. "The love I have for Haruka is as bright as the sun! She is the most wonderful being God ever created and it would only be wrong if I did not love her!" her feelings made her feel wonderful. Just being near the loud, language murdering girl was enough to keep her going through many tough times. She would be happy to be her lover or her friend, anything just so long as she could bath in the light that was Suzushiro Haruka!

But she was in darkness now.

"How can something so wonderful be wrong?" she looked at the Sister her eyes were trying to make the other woman see how wonderful the love she had was. These few days apart had been killing her, it was just like the sappy romance stories she read while Haruka scoffed at them, she couldn't eat or sleep without her. But when she was with her she could lift mountains and overcome anything. Nothing was wrong with what she felt, couldn't the Sister see that?

"The Bible says its wrong."

She sighed and lent back in her seat. She didn't like to argue and preferred to avoid confrontation when she could. Besides It didn't really matter what the Sister or the Bible thought she loved Haruka and it was good. Only it didn't matter how wonderful or good it was as Haruka didn't love her, not in the same way. Haruka didn't even like her anymore "it doesn't matter what you think, Haruka is the only one whose thoughts matter."

"And what does Suzushiro-san think?"

She stayed silent maybe Haruka had found out her feelings? She had avoided Shizuru after the Carnival, and made sure never to be in the same room as the other girl "encase she tries to infest me" she of course meant molest but now thinking about it 'infest' would have been fine. She had been infested by Haruka long before she had met Fujino Shizuru.

"She wouldn't accept my love" her voice was lifeless, she had told herself this over and over trying to make her heart believe this unwanted truth. Haruka would never do something so many considered to be immoral and wrong. She always upheld the rules and standards of whatever association she joined whether it was the Student Council or the Catholic church so her love would never be accepted. Despite the fact it was Haruka's dogmatic devotion to rules meant there could never be a possibility of them being together she wouldn't change anything about the girl she loved because it made her so wonderful and unique.

"A girl came to me with the same problem as you, I can't, of course, tell you who," she tried to catch the other girls eye but Yukino was staring unseeing straight ahead, the shy girl looked so defeated that she knew despite the horrible future repercussions of the act, she was doing the right thing "I told her to commit her unnatural love would be to commit sin, I counselled this girl to stay away from the one who causes these feelings"

Yukino slowly turned her head to look at the nun…was she talking about Haruka?

"Its not the path God would want you on, but I must ask you this Kikukawa-san," she stared at the younger girl the gaze that met her just as intense; The black sheep in her flock, but one that she would see be loved like all the others "Is she worth burning for?"

"Yes" There was no hesitation, no wavering as Yukino stood to her full height and looking down on God's messenger and answered her. Together she and Haruka could withstand any flame. If there was even a small chance that Haruka loved her like the nun had hinted she would take it, even if Haruka said she only wanted her friendship she would give it, but if she was avoiding her because she was afraid of what she felt, then that was unacceptable.

She would not let Suzushiro Haraka run away from her problems, after all, it would sully her reputation as a crazy and fanatic disciplinary officer that may or may not be slightly dyslexic.

It was her turn to be the brave one in their relationship. Even if Haruka ran screaming away from her she would follow because a life with Haruka nearby and hating her was better than one with her far away and loving her.

"Then go child," the nun gently pushed her towards the door. Free from Nao's influence she realised that if spending the rest of their lives together in love made them happy enough to risk eternal damnation then who was she to stand in their way? At least they would burn happily.

Together.

She took of at a run towards the doors, she forgot to bow but she was sure the Sister would forgive her rudeness. No matter what Haruka answered she would stay with her and be near her always. She would stalk her girl with a dedication that even Shizuru would envy!

Without a doubt she knew she would never be separated from Haruka again.

Sorry this took so long but I got hooked on Avenger which is probably the worst anime ever made…I want the last few days of my life back!

Thanks to those that reviewed. There will be more ShizNat next chapter its Natsuki's turn in the box!


	5. Natsuki

"Nao!"

Natsuki charged into the church chasing the pink haired girl who for the last few days had so far managed to avoid her. Nao ran behind the alter and used it as a shield to keep her and Natsuki separate.

"I'm going to kill you!" Natsuki ran to Nao's side of the alter only for the girl to dive to the other side.

"Hey! Its not my fault your girlfriend cheated on you Kuga!" she watched Kuga who looked like an angry dog. She was under no illusions that the other girl would carry out her threat after she had seen what happened to Shizuru she had laid low knowing the other girl would be out for blood. It was only her stupid need to eat that got her caught at the super market by the biker dyke who chased her all the way from the shop to here.

"Oh so it wasn't you who had your tongue in her mouth!" snarled Natsuki making another attempt to capture the girl.

"Not her mouth, no!" she knew antagonising the monster before her wasn't a good idea but she would be damned if she would let Kuga see she was frightened, despite the fact she ran away from the other girl and was metaphorically peeing her pants.

Natsuki snarled and vaulted over the alter to get to Nao who was so surprised at the action that she froze. They hit the floor in a tangle of limbs, Nao was on the bottom when they fell down the two small steps that led up to the alter and the wind was knocked out of her. Natsuki punched her in the face before her hands gripped Nao around the neck.

Oh shit Kuga really has lost it, Nao clawed at Natsuki's hands which seemed to be steel. It was at times like this that she really missed Julia. "Your just pissedgot there...first!" she managed to wheeze out. Natsuki's hands tightened further and Nao felt her eyes pop.

"Stop this at once!" Sister Yukariko's voice rang out full of authority. Natsuki let go of Nao seeming to come out of the red haze she had been trapped in. As much as Yukariko, and many others, had dreamed of doing the same thing to Nao the other girl should not have tried to strangle the her inside the church "this is a place of sanctuary!"

Nao as soon as she felt Natsuki's hands loosen scrambled from under the girl. She wanted to make some butch on top comment but didn't want to push her luck. She left the church quickly wheezing and trying to catch her breath as she left.

"Kuga-san?" Yukariko knelt down beside the girl who was staring double at her hands as if they were foreign entities.

"I was going to kill her" she didn't look at the nun who was beside her.

"Don't worry everyone tries to kill Nao" she put her arm around the listless girl and lead her to the bench.

"My hands seem to have a mind of their own lately," first she had hit Shizuru and now she tried to strangle Nao. They both deserved to be punched, Shizuru especially, but even Nao didn't deserve her trying to kill her.

"Why is that do you think?"

"I'm sorry Sister for attacking Nao here," they both noticed that she wasn't sorry for attacking Nao "I'm not good with this face to face confession" she just didn't like talking about her feelings period.

"Well that's why we have this very special box," Yukariko gestured to the box like a lovely assistant in a game show. Natsuki smiled a little but still turned to leave. "Please Natsuki-chan give it a chance."

She wavered. Would talking in a small box about problems she wasn't even sure of help her in anyway? Well it would be better than going around trying to kill people. Her anger had gotten out of hand lately. She entered the box and the Sister closed it with a flourish and entered her side of the box.

"So what amsupposed to do?"

"Well, how about you tell me what's bothering you?"

What was bothering her was that her girlfriend had cheated on her with Nao of all people. That she had the gall to tell her she was partly responsible for her indiscretion. That she was being abandoned by the person that she thought would be with her no matter what. That she felt more vulnerable and weak now than she had ever been in her life.

"Shizuru slept with Nao," though she didn't like the word 'slept' which implied that they drifted gently of to sleep together rather than screwed like animals.

"And what do you want to do about that?"

Kill Nao. She had tried that and instead of the pleasure she thought she would get she was just left feeling guilty and upset. "I want to forget about it" which was the truth, she just wanted things to go back to the way they were...which seemed to have tormented Shizuru. Why couldn't she have just been happy with things as they were?

Shizuru told her, told her many times actually, that she kept flinching every time they tried to be intimate which was true but hardly her fault. It was just every time Shizuru touched her unexpectedly she kept seeing her face all ghostly pale and made up like a Geisha and remembered the phantom touches that happened during the HiME festival. She had tried to ignore it and pretend nothing happened hoping that the images would go away but they never did. She knew Shizuru wouldn't hurt her but the memory of those empty eyes staring fixatedly at her were hard to forget. And apparently Shizuru wasn't willing to give her that time.

"What would you do if you forgot about it Kuga-san?"

What would she do? She would stay with Shizuru of course. "I would be with Shizuru."

"But now that you can't forget what do you want to do?"

…stay with Shizuru. It was such a simple honest thought that she couldn't answer the nun right away. Why did she want to stay with Shizuru after the other woman had violated her trust _again_? Why was she willing to forgive her a second time when she had never even forgiven anyone a first?

"I'm scarred becausewant to stay with her. I've never wanted to be with someone as much as her" no one had ever gotten this close to her before. She had never allowed it, but somehow Shizuru with her gentle grace and embarrassing teasing had managed to carve out her own throne inside her heart which no one not even herself could usurp her from. She could actually see it in her head a mini Shizuru sitting on an ice thrown inside her waving cheerfully as thousands of little Natsuki guards tried to pry her from her spot unsuccessfully. The crazy image made her smile. That was another thing that Shizuru kept making her do usually against her will.

"Is that why you attacked Nao?"

"What?" she had actually lost the thread of the conversation too absorbed in her day dream.

"You want to stay with her so much that you attacked Nao who you perceived to be taking her away from you."

She stared through the grate at the bleary image of the other woman incredulously. That was a load of crap. She attacked Nao for sleeping with her girlfriend and trying to take Shizuru away from h-oh. She blinked stupidly but somewhere in the back of her mind she found it oddly fitting that she had abandonment issues to go along with her trust issues.

"What shoulddo?" her voice was that of a little girl lost. She stared wide eyed and innocent at the grate hoping to God the other woman would have all the answers that would make the pain and anger go away.

"Well, Kuga-san, you have two options. Option one: stay with Shizuru and never forgive her, dooming you both to unhappy lives filled with twisted love and mistrust, or option two: forgive her and try to be more honest with each other."

"In both optionsstay with her, shouldn't you be counselling me against that?"

There was a short bark of laughter from behind the grate "I've learned my lesson doing that. It seems to make people more unhappy as not and really that's all He wants is for us to be happy."

Natsuki frowned she was all for loving God and such but she wanted to stop the Sister before she started to preach. Love God but do it anyway from her. Far, far away. "Soshould forgive her then?"

"If you think being with her will make you happy and not psychotic." the other woman's response was slightly humorous but turned serious "you have to trust her Kuga-san because your fear will tear you apart. Its your fear that causes you to lash out like a cornered animal."

"I knowcan learn to trust that she won't leave but-" even after she hit her and acted like a jealous moron every time Shizuru so much as looked at another girl, until it got to the point she avoided eye contact with other females just to make her happy, Shizuru still wanted to stay with her so she could believe that Shizuru for some reason wanted to stay with her. The trusting her in an intimate way though was easier said that done. She didn't want to tell the other woman or anyone else for that matter that she was afraid of her girlfriends advances. But the nun had been surprisingly helpful so far...maybe she could help with this. She took a deep breath trying to work up to it.

"-sometimes, when we're alone-" she broke off embarrassed. She could feel her face burn but she forced herself to continue because she wanted help "-I freeze,mean I-I stop or can't go on" She willed the other woman to understand her.

"Alone?" the other woman was being deliberately dense she thought frustrated at both herself for being so embarrassed and the other woman for being so stupid.

"You know _alone_" she poured all her feeling into the last word and despite the face the nun couldn't see her face she raised her eyebrows to try and enhance her meaning.

"Oh _alone_," the nun had finally got what she meant and seemed to be just as embarrassed as she was. "Well, ah, w-why do you think that is?" She was determined to help the little heathen even if they both became the first documented cases of death by embarrassment.

"A-at the festival-" she broke off unwilling to share what had transpire at the remote hide away of Shizuru's, it was bad enough that Haruka and Yukino knew about. It was also a miracle that the loud mouth blonde didn't broadcast it to the entire school. "Well lets just sayhave a problem being intim-touch-close to her."

The was a pause before the other woman asked tentatively "is it Fujino-sama specifically or...?"

Well she didn't like anyone doing it but it was worst in Shizuru's case "yes."

"And it only happens when she tries to be intim-touch-close to you?" the nun could feel her own face flame. She had definitely not signed up for this.

"yes" she said through gritted teeth because if this went on for much longer she was going to loose her nerve and run.

"You should..." oh yes they were going to be found slumped in the confessional after having been embarrassed to death "maybe try...tying her up...when your being close."

The confessional door flew open with enough force that she was surprised she didn't break the thing as she leapt out. Her face was flushed and she looked every where but at the nun who exit the confessional as well. Though she didn't do it in the same violent way as Kuga-san she to was glad to escape the small space. Though that now left them with the awkward situation of looking at each other.

"It might help because you know that she can't do anything you don't want her too." She mumbled at the flag stones beneath the younger girls feet.

"Yeah, thanks, I'll consider it" Natsuki mumbled back trying her best to scurry out the door.

"Oh Kuga-san!" the sudden thought held enough importance that she found the strength to look up "about Fujino-sama's limp?" she had seen the state of the other girl and only now was worrying if she had sentenced her to an abusive relationship.

"She fell." She was content to leave the explanation as it was until she realised that she had given the excuse of abusive partners everywhere and for some reason she didn't want the nun to think badly of her now "when she told me about Nao and hertried to run away and she grabbed me,told her to let go or I'd hit her but she didn't sopunched her," she had meant to hit the other girls chest so that she would stumble back but the way Shizuru lunged to stop her retreating had left her on the same height that her chest was when she was standing so she hit the other girls eye instead. She wasn't that sorry, she still thinks the other girl deserved it and she was glad to see the normally unshakable Shizuru so stunned. She remembered thinking at the time the pain she felt in her cheek was nothing compare to the pain in her chest. "She stumbled back and tripped over our pic nic basket twisting her ankle. It wasn't me."

She had to carry the other girl back to her dorm. She had been so mad at her that she wanted to leave her there on the grass but couldn't. She had made sure she was safe and comfortable in her dorm room before she left to find Nao. She did it all in stony silence despite Shizuru's continues pleas for her to listen. At the time she didn't want to listen to Shizuru's hopeful words and stupid accent but now she remembered them and now shared her sentiment in building a better relationship.

"Your not going to make hitting her a regular occurrence, right?" she just had to make sure.

Maybe a little spanking now and again. Her faced flushed at her lustful thoughts and she violently shook her head no. The nun deliberately made no mention of the colour which invaded Natsuki's already glowing face because frankly she didn't want to know. She had reached her limits for today and she didn't even allow herself the release that Nao always brought her. It turned out to be a very frustrating and embarrassing day.

"A-arigato Sister" she made a polite and formal bow which was too groomed to be anything other than Fujino-sama's teaching and then she turned and walked out of the Chapel. Her walk was far removed from the angry lurching she walked in with, she felt more peaceful as she now had clarity and a mission.

She was off to find Shizuru

…and maybe a pair of hand cuffs.

Sorry for taking so long but Natsuki just wouldn't write herself and I would rather make you wait than hand you rubbish. So here it is the last chapter I might even do a follow up story about Natsuki and her handcuffs ::grins:: such a wonderful thought that.


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